YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE

Ransom Riggs once said “Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time”. I decided to start with this quote to make people realize that just like we individuals chase our dreams, in a very similar way nightmares also chase us. It’s like a shadow that hardly leaves us. Just like people want to live their dreams they also have to survive nightmares. While I was surfing the internet I came across this quote which read “Only happy people have nightmares, from overeating. For those who live a nightmare reality, sleep is a black hole, lost in time, like death”. This quote made me give a second thought about nightmares that whether we should actually have cold feet or we have just overrated them. My mind made me reach to a conclusion that for depressed people their nightmares and reality are same but for people who are optimistic about their future, they are naturally anxious about nightmares. As an individual having positive approach regarding life and aspirations, nightmares make me feel depressed and sometimes I feel that nightmares should come with a statutory warning and a skip button but unfortunately our mind are not yet so developed.
As a child our dreams are often very limited and so are our nightmares. Being a fun loving child I often dreamt about having enough candies in my pocket and playing all day long with my cousins. Back then staying away from my parents used to be a sort of nightmare for me. Then as I grew up I used to think that maybe losing my grace and beauty is one of the most dreadful things that can ever happen to me. As a teenager we become more possessive about our body and our beauty. We think that the beauty that we possess will suddenly cease to be ours and that become our worst nightmare. But as I came out of my juvenile phase I realized that beauty has got a bubble-reputation and beauty is not superficial rather it is defined by the nobility of our soul. Now as a grown up when I reflect on these childhood thoughts I feel that I was very innocent to think the worst thing that can ever happen to me. Childhood nightmares no more haunt me rather it makes me laugh at my innocence which has ceased to be mine. I feel that with age not only our conscious mind develops and gets matured even our unconscious mind gets cultured.
At the age of 18 the nightmare that haunts me is losing all my knowledge. Even thinking about this gives me goose bumps that one day I might wake up and little of the knowledge that I have gained in all these years shall vanish. My brain shall once again reach that embryonic state where once again it has to be freshly fed by experiences and various learning. Being somewhat good in academics and being a keen learner this nightmare had a profound impact on me. It made me constantly ask myself existential questions and if ever the nightmare comes true what shall happen to me and people around me. If at the age of 18 I lose all my knowledge I feel that I will reduce to a mere body whose soul has departed to a wandering land. When we lose knowledge we lose everything that was once ours whether it is our personality, our ethics or our approach towards life. Knowledge is the fundamental thing that a person should have in order to thrive and not just survive and with no knowledge I would be referred to as pig-ignorant or unworldly. Our knowledge shapes our thinking process and just imagine that one day you will be ceased to have a thinking process of your own(doesn’t that make you give a second thought about yourself) . In the language of computers all I can say that our brain will shut down and once that happens to me I would have no purpose of living a life. Now I feel that with age even our nightmares become more matured and developed. From having the nightmare of losing chocolates to the nightmare of losing knowledge I have had a better understanding about life and its prospects and all I can say that losing my knowledge is the worst nightmare that I have ever had. This nightmare has sent a chill down my spines that with all my knowledge lost I would become a captivated girl who would never be able to break herself free from the shackles of ignorance.  My status would be that of a benighted girl in the world of learned and intellects and when I shall look into the mirror I would be perplexed about my oneself and rambling in the woods of pity and ignorance.
– Rimakshi Bhadra